i don't know why do i still tell my friends about it, why do i keep being honest when it's unnecessary, when it makes them pull away because they do not understand and get tired of my feelings and emotions

is there even any point in sharing?

⠀⠀⠀My drunk ramblings get weirder and weirder with each second we spend on the couch in the living room, sitting too close to each other, too close for best friends and roommates to do so. Your arm rests around my shoulder, your palm scorching hot against my shoulder, burning through the thick fabric of my t-shirt.

⠀⠀⠀"You know," I start, my head involuntarily falling back to your shoulder, and I gently brush my nose against your neck. "I wish I could do this all the time. With you. The work demands me to stay sober most of the time, but I love drinking with you. It's... comfortable. I feel nice."

⠀⠀⠀The feel of your warm breath on my cheek almost sends shivers down my spine, the tender feeling stumbling over itself deep inside my body, the tight knot down in my stomach aching with a nearly uncontrollable desire to twist my neck a little and plant a sweet, sweet kiss against your lips. No. Not now. I am not going to make a move. I've made this mistake for so many times I decided to give up any attempt to find any happiness. It better find me, right?

⠀⠀⠀"Well..." you say, words slurry, your hand sliding down my arm, fingertips gently caressing my skin. "We can, you know? Even without the beer. I love sitting like that with you."

⠀⠀⠀"Oh, yeah?" I chuckle, tenderly nudging your jaw with my head.

⠀⠀⠀"Yeah..." you exhale, shifting your whole body towards me, your other arm slowly wrapping around my waist, brushing the sensitive skin on my sides as you press me tighter into your chest. "I have to tell you something, ok?"

⠀⠀⠀"I hope you remember the fact that I can easily recall everything even when I'm drunk. Except that one time I didn't know if I confessed to a guy or if it was a dream."

⠀⠀⠀"I'm counting on that, girl."

⠀⠀⠀My ribcage aches from how hard my poor little heart pushes against my lungs each second, pulsating through my limbs and making me feel as if I swim in a pool of warmth. I return the sweet embrace, confidently swinging one of my legs over your thighs to get even closer. Closer than just best friends. Are we just that at this point?

⠀⠀⠀You tilt your head down, rubbing your beard against my temple, bringing your lips to the tip of my ear. It's hard not to gasp and shudder when you breathe the words I've been waiting to hear for so long into my ear:

⠀⠀⠀"I want you to be mine and only mine. Fuck everyone else, fuck your exes, fuck my exes, fuck that guy that hits on you constantly, Vac, let's just... let's stop dancing around each other, alright? I..." you squeeze my waist tighter, burying your head in the crook of my shoulder, a small laugh escaping your lips. "I love you, ok? I've been looking for someone like you for such a long time, you know?"

⠀⠀⠀The sound of my rapid heartbeat is deafening, awfully so, but as I feel my chest press into yours to the point we nearly melt into each other, yours falls into the same rhythm. In synch. We do everything the same way, and now our hearts pulsate through our skin and bones simultaneously.

⠀⠀⠀"I know," the idiotic smile glued to my face changes my voice so much I almost cringe at my joyful sincerity. "Believe me, I know, 'cause I was looking for you too. For so many years..."

⠀⠀⠀"Then..." you raise both your head and one of your hands, cupping my cheek, the gesture both tender and possessive. "How about we stop wasting even more time, huh?"

⠀⠀⠀"Fucking finally."

⠀⠀⠀"Yeah, fucking finally."

[A] is for AWKWARD TENSION and for ANGST WITH A HAPPY ENDING

[B] is for BONDING and for BEST FRIENDS TO LOVERS

[C] is for CASUAL and for CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT

[D] is for DISASTROUS and for DOMESTIC FLUFF

[E] is for EMBARRASMENT and for EVENING CONVOS

[F] is for F-BOMBS and for FOREHEAD KISSES

[G] is for GENTLENESS and for GAME NIGHTS

[H] is for HD TV and for HURT-COMFORT

[I] is for INSTINCTIVE and for IMPERFECT PEOPLE

[J] is for JEALOUSY and for JOB APPLICATIONS

[K] is for KILLJOY PAIR and for KISSING

[L] is for LOVE and for LIFT AND CARRY

[M] is for MUSIC SHARING and for MUTUAL PINING

[N] is for NATURAL ATTRACTION and for NON-VERBAL SIGNS OF LOVE

[O] is for OLD-SCHOOL COLLECTIONS and for OBVIOUS CRUSH

[P] is for PUBLIC DISPLAYS OF AFFECTION and for PRAISE KINK

[Q] is for QUIRKS and for QUICKIES

[R] is for ROOMMATES and for REQUITED LOVE

[S] is for SHARED APARTMENT and for SOULMATES

[T] is for TAKE OUT and for TRAUMA DUMPING

[U] is for UNUSUAL CLOSENESS and for URBAN ROMANCE

[V] is for VALIDATION and for VIDEO TAPES

[W] is for WRESTLING and for WORKED UP

[X] is for XIU XIU SONGS and for XENO STUFF

[Y] is for YELLOW CLOTHES and for YES-MAN ROLE

[Z] is for ZEALOUSNESS and for ZOMBIE GAMES